HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014

"... His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse". Romans 1:20 "...
Because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exist and that He rewards those who earnestly seek him"  Hebrews 11:6

Happy 2014!  Wow, what and adventure!
Shame on me, I have stop writing and updating with all of you my friends.  This is my 3rd year since everything with my health started to go wrong.
I am alive and well, it is a miracle that I am not even with any kind of paralysis and or because of the radiation, I have not developed any other kind of cancer (yes, radiation is known that kills the bad and good cells, and later on may produce cancer... you figure out (lol).
I am in good health, the Lord has provided all that I needed and more.  I love my husband, he is a blessing that God has granted me; I spent more time with my dear daughter Bethany. All that I lost, The Lord has given back to me, with addition and many more blessings.
When I look back, I say: "Thank you Lord for the time that I was sick, I was able to stay still and listened to you, my plans for my life were directing my path to destruction.  Thank you for loving me unconditionally and in your mercy, find me, and guide me on the right path again.  Thank you for the lives that were touch through my sickness and show your eternal power; Thank you for all the things you thought me while sick and turned me to be more humble, compassionate, to love others unconditionally as you love me. and most important, the moment I felt you presence... I will not change even a minute of all that I lived, and if I had to chose on walking the same experience again, I will.  
I thank you for all, what was bad, turned to be good, Thank you Jesus for your death in the cross, thank you for saving my life."
Here I am today, feeling good, and praising God every moment.
I will try to attach some pics we took recently of our family.  1st Scott, Bethany and Me.  2nd Dinner with Scott's parents during our Christmas trip to Iowa-Michingan 2013.  At the end my lovely Bethany and the new addition to our family "Coco".
During my trip up north, after we spent couple of days with Scott's parents, They were so nice, sweet and kind. We also visited my sister Maria Elena, we had a wonderful time. spending time with my sis like the old times. we enjoyed time with my brother in law Alejandro that took us on a Grand Rapids tour and cook a Peruvian dish for us (saltado) yummy!. Also happy to see my grown up nephew Ismael and so happy to know he is doing really good (in college (2 more semesters to go) and working part time). Thank you for all your blessings God!

LOVE YOU ALL!  HAVE A BLESS NEW YEAR 2014!!!!!!

  
 

AWESOME GOD

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23

I will sing Glory, I will praise the Lord as long as I live.  
It is so difficult to understand his unconditional love.  Every Christmas the reminder of  the birth of Jesus, that came to this world in a humbled way to later on die for everyone that believe in Him and declare Him Lord of Lords and Savior.
Every time I look around,  I see His mercies and love Jesus shows to me.  I lost everything with my sickness, but the Lord returned little by little all I lost; He provides for every need, gives me more than I need at times, He is good and faithful and my heart sings with great joy to Him!
Lately I have experience the death of a loved one, life is so fragile, can't be taken for granted. We all will face death at some point in our life, that is inevitable; but the question is, once you are gone and you face God, What do you think He will say to you... "good servant, come into my kingdom" or "I never knew you, get out from my presence".  I know that I will be with Him, because he died for me and all my sins.
It is like the parable of the prodigal son: he left his father and ask him for the money he should receive when the father die (which was given to him).  Later on, he spent all he had by drinking and celebrating with friends (that were only around him for the money). He saw himself lost and lonely, no money, no friends, eating pigs food.  Finally he came back to the father ashamed and repented, expecting the father to maybe turn him away.  The father saw him from far, the father ask the servants to serve a feast because his son was coming back.  the father run with open arms to receive his son.  No matter how many times I fall face down in the mud, Jesus is there stretching his hands to help me get up, he does not care how dirty I am, he cleans me and keeps me walking. He does not care how dirty you may be, He only wants you to accept his open hand for you to get up and walk next to him, God loves you.
My life reminds me a Jesus parable "...do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them.  And how much more valuable you are than birds!...Consider how the lilies grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you..." Luke 12:22-28
 I have real friends (family in Christ I should say) that walk the way of life with me, and what a blessing they are.  I have a beautiful daughter that God has put in my care, I have a loving man in my life that very soon I will marry, I can say, I am rich!
May this New Year brings you joy and peace!   
PS I will be sending the wedding invitations soon!
Wedding date: Saturday, March 23, 2013

Love you all!

HONDURAS

"... Then those who believe in God will be careful to use their lives for doing good". (Titus 3:8)

I forgot to give you an update from last time I wrote, so here it is:

Honduras trip (July 27 - August 10) went wonderful, God protected all of us in our team and the team that came a day after us.

I had the chance to share with the older girls the "Good News" and reassure them how much God loves them, that He will never forget or forsake them, that we are, they are the princesses of Him, we are His baby girls and that He only wants us to accept His open arms and walk with Him.  
These girls were amazing, even life and the world sin have damaged their lives (the reason for them to be in the orphanage) they welcome the good news and the word of our Savior (the Bible).  I read to them passages, talk to them and I just saw this thirst, these hearts open, wanting to learn more and more about God (what a blessing to me to experience this) I had the time to share and hear some of their awful, sad, sad stories, pray for them and hope I was a good witness to them.  I had the privilege to share Christ with them and pray for them.
God was all around, this place belongs to him, you can feel His presence all around.  A place with more than 600 children in it (almost like a small city on its own) this place has grown and it has grown beautiful by the grace of God that has supplied everything to keep this kids and maybe more to come.
Honduras is a very, very poor country, we took a bus from Tegucigalpa (the city where the airport is) to Guaimaca (where the orphanage is) about 1 and half hour by bus, it is a huge difference once you get to Emmanuel, it is a blessing for the kids that can find refuge in Emmanuel, God bless the people that work in there and volunteer to keep the place up.

Bethany made good friends with handicap toddlers, I was very proud to see my kid being so king and good to those kids (most people don't wanna deal with them, but they need more love than the other kids).  She made friends everywhere and with everyone, kids use to call her "stephanie" at times, but she did not mind.  She helped taking care of the toddlers in many instances, she love and play with them.  When we came back she asked me "mom, can we go back to the orphanage in Honduras some time?... that spoke tons to me.  The Lord blessed me with this mission trip, it is good to be back, but I miss the kids in Emmanuel orphanage, I will keep them in my heart and prayer.

Doctors, ok, I had my MRI and blood work, saw my Oncology Doctor on Thursday on the 19th of this month and he said there are no changes on that growth on the left hemisphere, has not grow or change, still a 3mm growth, but nothing to worry about unless it changes.  On the right hemisphere there is no changes either, so everything is good.  We will follow other issues like nausea, and vision, but seems these tumors are dormant and nothing to worry unless they show activity.  I will have my next MRI in 3 months, we will keep following to make sure no changes happen.  My blood is good, my weight is good, I am fine and I boast that my Lord is the one that is next to me giving me health and life to keep going, kicking, and singing aloud to Him praises.

I moved, my new address is close to Bethany's school and stores, I am close to everything!
I have almost finished opening boxes and putting the place together (I still have not found some cooking pans (lol)) I say thanks to God that open this door for me.

Bethany is back to school, she is on 3rd grade now and today was her 1st day of class, she is growing super fast!

Love you all,
Sofia

ps: a pic of Bethany and a friend she made from the orphanage "Genesis" is her name"

GOOD NEWS!!!

"I have swept away your sins like a big cloud. I have removed your sins like a cloud that disappears into the air. Come back to me because I saved you." Isaiah 44:22

I, go on with salvation messages, I never get tired of them, and I will not get tired of writing about them again and again. To me, salvation has been amazing news, and it is the reason I don't stop talking about it...it is like someone buying a new car and been so happy about it and tells and shows this new car to everyone she/he knows and even people he/she does not know. When something special happens in our lives, we want to share it with others and even more if you know that others can get the same thing you did, that they will enjoy and be happy, specially when it comes for free.

Tomorrow may be too late, today is the day.  It is wise to take a decision today, not later, not tomorrow, because we do not know what is gonna happen in the next 5 seconds to follow, our lives are fragile, very fragile; you are here now, today, but you may be gone tomorrow.  How many times we have heard about a friend, young and healthy die without any obvious reason? maybe an accident or a heart attack, killed, etc.  our lives are fragile, very fragile. 

 Ask yourself, Where will I go if I have an accident on my way home and die today? (oh Sofia, you are being so dramatic and creepy...no I am not, I am very serious, dead can happen to anyone, at any time, at any age, sick or no sick, anyone. we all face death at some point).  Dead is something we will all have to face and you are not an exception, you are a human as anyone else, so ask yourself, What will happen after I die? Where will I go after dying? What if I have to stand before God today? What will I say to Him, What will He say to me?
Even if you don't believe in God, ask yourself, What if He exist? What if all that I heard was true and I ignored it?
Today is the day, not tomorrow, not later on, don't let the "issues" of life make you wait until you are ready, finish, complete, done... "issues in life" could be a sin that you think you don't wanna give up today or can't give up (you are not strong enough), or could be something you want and you are after it and you want to have it and you can't come to Christ because He may not allow you to or may have different plans for you, so... you wanna wait until you reach that "thing" "goal" to think about giving your life to Christ, You fear God will interfere in your plans... the Bible says very clear that God has perfect plans for the ones who love Him. He also says that He loves us so much that gave His only son to die for our sins that whoever believes in Him may not be lost and have eternal life. (John 3:16, ) But demons believe that too and shake with fear (James 2:19), but, if you profess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord , and if you believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from death, then you will be saved(Romans 10:9).  There is a difference in just believing and having a personal relationship with our sovereign God. For example I believe tables exist, but, do I have a personal relationship w a table? we can believe, but something different is to accept and to give our lives to a sovereign power for our salvation.
I am a sinner, and I need Christ at all moments in my life to keep forgiving me and guiding me. His word tells me He has perfect plans for the ones that love Him, and the one that loves Him obey His commandments and if we sin, He is merciful and kind to forgive us and say I forgive you, I love you.

No matter what you do, He is there to forgive and help.  
If you have a "pending issue" that does not allow you to give your life to Christ, then give that issue to Him, He is all powerful and Almighty that He will resolve the "issue" for you, Whatever it is He will give you His strength to overcome it.  Don't wait no more, make a decision today, now, He is giving you a chance that is worth more than all the treasure here on earth, tomorrow or later may be too late. we will all get a chance and we will all die and we all will face God one day... what is gonna be your answer when He ask "What have you done with the free gift of eternal life "Jesus" I gave to you? Did you accepted Him in your heart and allowed Him to guide your life or did you choose to go your own way after gods (riches, fame, power, sexual satisfaction) that never satisfied you?

He may say to you "Well done my child, please enter into my kingdom" 
Or 
"get out of my sight I never knew you".

What would you like Him to say to you? What do you think He will say to you? 

It is a choice, it is presented to you today, now, tomorrow may be too late.  If you are fill with doubts, pray, talk to Him, challenge Him to show you He exist and that He loves you.

For my brothers and sisters in Christ that are believers this is just a reminder that we are forgiven and that is never a bad idea to rededicate our lives to Jesus (that I do it often). And for my brothers and sisters in Christ that have not dedicated their lives to the Lord Jesus Christ before, ...what are you waiting for? Don't let evil have you hooked by a ring nose and taking you wherever he wants, choose today.

You can say anything you want to Him, this is just an example of what I pray: 

Dear Father, I ask you to please forgive me of my sins, wash me clean, come into my life, I want you to be my God, my Savior, my Friend, guide my life from now on, help me with......(whatever you are dealing with)... I do not have the strength to change or fight myself, but you do. your word says that I can do everything with Jesus that gives me strength.  I want to be yours now and forever, amen.

Just keep in mind that we have been saved by grace and not deeds so no one could boast (Ephesians 2:8)

We are new creatures in Christ, the old has past. Christ has die once for our past, present and future sins, we will fall many times (He knows) but what makes a difference is that we will repent ask God for forgiveness and we will allow Him to pick us up and hold His hand to keep walking in His path. Let's not stay in the ground crying or fussing, let's repent and hold the hand that is extended to us (Jesus Hand) ready to help us get up and walk with Him.

I hope that you have prayed along with me, whenever we go to heaven I will see you there again.

In Christ's Love

Sofia

4th of July 2012

Thank you Lord for allowing me to enjoy the freedom, and the richness of this country.  Thank you that I have the freedom to worship your name without been punished for it, and for so many other things I take sometimes for granted. It is a privilege to live here United States of America.
Happy 4th of July everyone!

"He comfort us every time we have trouble, so that we can comfort others when they have trouble.  We can comfort them with the same comfort that God gives us." 2nd Cor 1:4

Yesterday we went to celebrate the 4th of July at Pier Park (a huge shopping area with all kind of stores everywhere, and blocks from the beautiful Panama City Beach) The Panama City Orchestra play along as the fire works took place. Beautiful event to experience and a beautiful moment to thanks our Lord we are still one nation under God and that we can still call this nation a Christian Nation.  So many blessings we received everyday that sometimes we take for granted.
Just few hours prior to the event we stop in a store to get few items, and I turned to see the newspaper displaying a picture of a man in Egypt sleeping on the top of a truck, all dirty and without shoes, and the paper said the bad political and economical situation Egypt is going through.  and there I was ready to buy things to eat and enjoy the music and fireworks while that man so far away from us maybe did not even had breakfast or dinner.  We may not be able to fix the problems and situations around the world, but we can pray for them and give thanks to our God for our every day living.

Last time I went to the Doctor, was a month ago, the MRI results were not good.  Seems like the tumor is growing back, and now there is an area on the left side that shows a (maybe) new growth (the tumor removed was on the right hemisphere of the cerebellum) this shadow is on the left hemisphere.
How am I dealing with this?
Not well when I removed my eyes from Jesus.  But when I look at His eyes, and my life, soul, heart, and thoughts are in Him, I am at so much peace and know that my Lord has plans for me,  not to harm me, but to prosper me. There is a purpose for all these happening, but I have assurance that my God is in control, that nothing happens in this world without His approval.  I don't know what is His plan for my life, but I know He wants me to trust Him and live a day at the time, enjoy each day, to be there for my Bethany and bring love to others.. If I am alive now after all that I have been trough (brain cancer, (2) brain surgeries, radiation and chemo, and against all odds and doctors predictions I am here, I am alive and not handicap.  How can I doubt that my Lord  will not take care of this situation?

I know I have been a stranger, have not write in a long time, but here I am with some news.

I moved from my sister Theresa (still moving) to an apartment in Lynn Haven, closer to Bethany school, grandma, and lots of stores, etc (that will save me a lot in gas).  I am living by faith, I made this move just because the Lord really open wide the doors for me to rent this place, and I am happy putting this together.
July 27 I am going with Bethany to a mission trip in Honduras (Guamaca) to an orphanage with 600 kids.  Can't wait to be there and be used by God touching the lives of those little ones that are in so much need of love and physical needs.  and Bethany, this trip will be an awesome experience for her, a time for her to learn how good it is to be servants of other people as Jesus was (He came to serve, not to be served), to share or work for God.  I know she will make friends and she will realize how many privileges she has here and how bless she is to have mommy and daddy and people that love her, and a God that will never leave her or forget her.

Once I am back from Honduras (August 10).  I will be getting a part time job and going to the doc again, more research and magnetic resonance to figure out how  are these things on my head behaving (growing or dormant).

This is it for now... more to come later  =)

God bless you!

EASTER - MORE NEWS

"... And we are healed because of His wounds" 1st Peter 2:24

I missed adding some to the blog I sent yesterday, so here I go:

The first MRI after chemotherapy showed a growth in the same spot where my brain tumor was located, I stopped chemo and basically the Dr. told me there were 2 options, having a new treatment (unknown results) or waiting ... remember? then I had another one MRI done and matched exactly as the one taken before that made my Dr. believe the growth in my brain was scar tissue from the surgery. we waited 3 more months and another MRI was taken, the Dr. told me it matched with the other 2 prior MRI, so he strongly believed he was right about the scar tissue. Now we will wait until June for another MRI, hoping and praying that will be the same, no changes.
Whatever it is I thank my Wonderful God for the healing. I am so much better, no more shaking hands and feet, no more vision problems, no more incredible painful headaches.
Thank you Jesus for your healing, Thanks for life.
My mom will be leaving soon, she had cataracts surgery in both eyes (by the grace of God) just happened that the eye Dr. I used to see when dealing with my vision problems cause the cancer; the same Dr. saw my mom for glasses and found the cataracts, and knowing my situation, placed my mom under the charity program they have at The Eye Center (isn't God so amazing).
Now my mom is recuperating from both eyes, but she is able to read again! so, she has been reading "the upper room" devotional. (Thank you Jesus!!)
I am so blessed and happy.

Happy Resurrection Day!!!!!!!

EASTER NEWS!

"Accept God's salvation to be your helmet..." Ephesians 6:17

Many have asked (even my mom), How were you able to face with so much peace the Doctor's news about you having the cancer again and basically no treatment options, but just waiting for death? How were you able to put together your own funeral arrangements? where did you get the strength to do so without falling apart?
My mom even questioned my faith, she told me how little my faith was, that I was working my funeral arrangements, instead of believing in God's healing.
The answer to everyone is very simple: It is not that I have little faith about God's power to heal me, absolutely not! God is able to do anything, to make the impossible, possible, His power can not be doubt; the power of the God I praise and worship. The difference is that I surrendered to His will, either if He takes me home with Him or leaves me here in earth. As I mentioned before in one of my blogs, everyone that I may leave behind will be fine (even my daughter Bethany). Why? because they are children of God as well, and God will be there for them. He will never leave or forget them, He will take good care of my love ones.
What about me? easy: "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" Philippians 1:21. God has filled my heart with so much peace and joy about it; and my peace comes because I know where I will be going when departing this life... I am going with Jesus!! How am I so sure? How can I boast I will have eternity? Do I think I am righteous and because of my "good deeds" I will go to heaven?
No, absolutely not, I am not righteous, I am a sinner. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Romans 3:23 / "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us" 1st John 1:8
Because Christ did not die in vain, He suffered and die in the cross to save me, to save you, to save anyone that believes in Him. Remember the Bible verse on the top of my blog? John 3:16? yes, He came so that we do not perish, but have eternal life! and God is a truthful God, He does not lie. I am so glad that salvation (eternal life) cannot be win by deeds, otherwise I will be domed. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the Gift of God." Ephesians 2:8
His mercy and grace touches me. I've done so many wrong things in my life, I have hurt people, I have hurt myself, and I have paid the consequences of my own actions; But, how wonderful is to be white as snow (Just because of the blood of Jesus that cleanses me). Just by praying to my Lord, accepting Him as my God, my Savior, my friend, just by asking Him to wash me clean from my sins, and to take and enter my heart to guide me and protect me, telling Him that I wanted to be His then and forever. And "If you profess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord", and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9
Am I without sin now? I do not sin anymore? Of course not, God knows I sin every day and every 10 sec or less I have sinful thoughts, but God helps me see when I am acting wrong ; and I immediately ask for forgiveness and strength to stop sinning. God knew ,way ahead, I was going to fall and sin, but He also knew that I was going to repent from it. God has forgiven me from my past, present and future sins, He gave His life for me.
Am I suppose to keep sinning, because there is always forgiveness? of course not! because I love God I want to obey him and serve Him, and bring Glory to His name in all that I say and do.
"We know that we have come to know Him if we keep His commands. Whoever says, "I know Him", but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person." 1st Jonh 2:4
Keep His commands? What are His commands? Easy, the 10 commandments, all starts there, everything like lying, stealing, lusting, loving other gods before Him, etc. Breaking his commandments (could be as simple as lying) is the same as sinning. One thing is to sin and have remorse about it and repent, doing our best to not fall anymore; and something different is to sin with the knowledge we are breaking God's command (disobeying), maybe feeling remorse at first, but shutting that little voice in us that keeps saying what we are doing does not bring Glory to God, we are disobeying . keep living breaking His command and not repenting about it.
"We know that anyone who is God's child does not continue to sin..." 1st John 5:18

Hope you have enjoyed the reading, we have an awesome God that loves us, and is open to our petitions and questions, we just have to ask Him.

May this Easter be good to remember the perfect sacrifice Jesus did for us, let's share the joy of the resurrection, God bless you all,

2012 / THE BUTTERFLY WITHIN...

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Have you ever stop for a moment and look at a beautiful butterfly? Remember when you learned at school about them?
Every time I read this verse a butterfly comes to my mind. We, humans, are just like them, we are ugly worms, but God knows that we will turn into beautiful butterflies. The ugliest the worm, the more beautiful butterfly we get.
How many times have you felt worthless, a sinner, someone that does not deserve anything?
Don't let Satan lie to you, don't allow him to plant in your heart you are not good enough to approach God... Don't you know that God sees the worm, knows is a worm, but He also sees the beautiful butterfly it will turn into?
We will sin so many times in our lives, but God does not stop loving us because of it. He knows the beauty inside of us, and knows that at some point the butterfly inside of us will come out.
He send his son to die for us, so that anyone that believes in Him and professes Him God and Savior will be saved and have eternal life.
Because of Jesus we are worthy, we are beautiful, we are white as snow in the eyes of our God. We will fall in sin many times, but our Jesus died for our past, present and future sins. We just need to stretch our hands to Christ ask for forgiveness and take His loving hand and get up and keep walking. He knows who you are, He knows already all the times you are gonna fall, and knows all the times you will return to Him repented and stretching your hands up to Him to be lift up. He loves us no matter what, He loves us so much that He left his throne in heaven to come to this world, live a humbled life and die for us.
Thanks God for looking at the butterfly in me, thanks for your mercy and your love, I do not deserve your love, but you give it to me anyways because of your grace.
Let's this 2012 accept Jesus Christ gift of forgiveness, let's accept his grace. Let's look forward for the work He is to do in our lives, let's look forward to see what He sees on us...a beautiful butterfly.

Have a wonderful 2012!!!

Santa ???

"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
One rocking horse...
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Two candles arrangements...
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Three Christmas plants, each one in their own tin base...
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Four bags of chocolates...
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Five chocolate cups on a tray, with many assorted bags (Land O' Lakes) of cocoa mix... plus a beautiful flower.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
A box of six blue stars for the Christmas tree ...
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
A set of cookie cutters...
On the eight day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
A box with eight delicious red apples...
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
A bag with 9 bells for the tree...
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Five pairs of gloves...
On the Eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Eleven Candy Canes...
On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
?????? Nothing!, Nada!, Zero!,
Who is my Secret Santa? .... Hones, I have no clue!

Christmas is here...

"Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit" Titus: 3:5

I am so glad that salvation is not by works, but by faith. There is another Bible verse that says that salvation is by faith and not deeds so no one boast.
How many times I have done a good deed, felt good about it, but many times feeling like "the good one", and you know, it is really easy for me to boast on something good I do; however, the word makes me recognize that it is my flesh, pride growing in me, and although yes, is a blessing to feel good when we do good, but it is wrong to feel we are the owners of heaven because of it.
It amazes me when I think about my Jesus, leaving His kingdom, to come to earth to serve me, to die for me. Coming like a little baby, completely needy of care like any other human.
Christmas, a time to meditate about what an incredible gift we have received... our Jesus, our Savior was born long time ago, came as a babe, weak and in need of care; The King of Kings and Lord of Lords left everything for us and came to this world in the most humbled way so that you and me could be saved.
The Bible says that anyone that believes in Him, and confesses with his lips He is the Messiah, The Savior (our) will be saved. How wonderful this is, and what a relief for me that I am not saved by the good deeds I do ( I fall short) and that I am saved by His grace only, that He paid the price of my sins, giving me the ultimate gift of love, dying in the cross.
Let's rejoice this Christmas, let's forget if we do or we don't have enough money for gifts, let's be at peace with ourselves and relax that salvation, the best gift ever, has been granted to us through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Merry Christmas!!!!

Christmas Miracles

"The Lord shows his true love every day. At night I have a song, and I pray to my living God" Psalm 42:8

Praises to my father God, wonderful savior, miracle maker. He has shown me one more time how much He loves me and how much He cares for me. I went to the doc yesterday, my oncologist told me the MRI taken last week is identical to the one taken in September, that is good news, it means the "tumor" has not changed shape or size, so it is dormant. We were expecting some growth and that was going to help us know how fast it was moving, growing and give us an idea for my future.
Next is gonna be another MRI in 3 months (March 07,2012). if the MRI comes out to be like the last one, not showing changes or growth, then there is a possibility that the call "tumor" is not just but a tissue growth and not cancer.
I am happy with the news, and as I said before, life, the days of our life are already counted by our God, there is no fear, only peace.
I am enjoying my mom's visit, it is a blessing to have her here, Bethany is good, healthy and growing up, God has bless me with wonderful brothers and sisters in Him, what else can I ask for? I am bless.
Gotta go... blessings to all,
Sofia

Answered Prayers

"...God gives you his Spirit and works miracles among you because you heard the Good News and believed it". Galatians 3:5

It has been an adventure of emotions for me. First, God answered my prayer about going to my sister Maria Elena's wedding in Gran Rapids, Michigan. Everything went well, and it was wonderful to see my sister again, specially for her wedding! She allowed me to help prepare all the details, decor, and cake decor, I was so excited, almost like celebrating my own wedding (lol). I am attaching a few pictures of the wedding. One of them is with my nephew "Ismael" (my sister's Maria Elena son); this picture is special for me since I saw my sister's womb knowing God was making him, and when he was born, he was so little I was afraid to carry him; and now he is a young man, taller than me! he is a very smart kid, I am proud of him, the best part is that he knows the Lord and is growing knowing about Him.

God answered me another petition, He allowed my mama to get her visa and she finally arrived to the States Nov 22. It is a real blessing to have her here with me, God is good, almighty God, nothing is impossible for Him, nothing. Praises to him always!

About my chemo... I prayed and ask for prayer about what decision to take, if going to Memphis for treatment or not (since seems Memphis is the only place that offers a kind of treatment for me). God gave peace in my heart about the idea of staying here in Panama City and not taking the treatment in Memphis. I based the decision on the duration of treatment (2 years), quality of life during treatment, my daughter. I did not feel at peace taking a medicine that only "could" cure me and last for 2 years. also the idea of not really knowing the side effects except that they may be similar to chemo and/or death. knowing that I won't be able to move my daughter for those 2 years and have her away from me. 2 years is too long for being away from my daughter and a decent quality life... what about if I only have 2 more years left? will I spend the time trying a new medicine (tried only in mice) with possible bad side effects, away from my daughter and friends? sorry, sounds like 2 good years wasted to me.
I've heard about a vitamin C infusion trial in a study in Texas (of short duration), I am gonna research more about it. For now I am spending a wonderful, marvelous time with my mom and friends. Every day is a gift to me.

Today I am going for another MRI and on Tuesday I will see my Oncologist to know about the tumor behavior (if it has grown, how fast is growing, changing shape, etc) that way we will know a little bit more of how I am doing. I truly agree with my doctor, we may be able to see how fast is growing and how big is getting, but it is impossible to predict what is gonna happen next or when... God is the only one who knows; in the mean time I rest in peace in His loving arms, with confidence he has prepared for me what is best in the coming future.

CHEMO NEWS-OCT011

"Remember that I commanded you to be strong and brave. So don't be afraid. The Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go." Joshua 1:9

I don't like talking just about me, but I know you all want to know how did it go with the last chemo. I did not take my last chemo since the results of my MRI showed the cancerous tumor is back, same spot. My Oncologist here had a conference call with my oncologist in Shands, and both determined that I have not many options at this point:
1)Go to Memphis to St. Jude Hospital for an experimental treatment (although St. Jude is a hospital for kids, they will take my case since it is a children cancer)
2)Have brain surgery again, but keeping in mind that is the last resort once grown, and the last time they can do brain surgery in me since that area of my brain has been operated already and part has been removed. I only have the chance for one more surgery, that's it.
3)Don't do anything, just wait and see what happens.

So, here you see me between:

1)Going for an experimental drug that has not been approved by the FDA yet and has been tested only in animals. It may work and kill the cancer or may not work and make me miserable during treatment and during whatever time of life I have left, far from Bethany, and my church family, my independence and area I know.
2)Taking the chance and be optimistic, not taking the unknown treatment, and live whatever time of life left in a happy, joyful time. Spending good times with my Bethany, teaching her to follow God and His paths (in the best way I can), enjoy time with my brothers and sisters in Christ(that the Lord has bless me with)...

Can you see the picture? a scale with 2 arms... one holding the unknown, the other one holding the known

What have I decide to do?

This is a difficult decision to make, so I have prayed to the King of Kings to take the decision for me, and to tell me out loud (sometimes I can be really deaf!) what He wants me to do. I want guidance on this one, so I know my Lord, my King will show me and confirm the way I should go.
God has the days of my life counted as well as the number of hairs in my head, I have faith He has a wonderful purpose with a good out coming in all the things that He permits to happen in our lives.
I have peace in my heart, and know this peace comes from my Jesus; I have the strength to keep going, because of Him. I have the assurance that Bethany will be fine if the Lord calls me home, she is God's princess, I know He will guide her and love her. He will never leave her, not forsake her. I know my mom, sisters, brothers and friends will miss me, but their faith and understanding of eternal life promised to us through Jesus will keep them up, looking forward to the day that we will see each other again.

I have assurance that if I go home, I will be dancing on my Father's field, that I will see my earthly dad again, and best of all I will be hanging around with Jesus, and I will finally understand many things.

The idea of going home does not make me sad, because I know with all my heart that everyone I will leave behind will be taking care by my father Jesus; there will be no tears, no worries, no fights at my Father's house. But, if my God grants me more years of life, then I will be singing songs of joy, worshiping God and telling my story, anything that may bring glory to God.

The pictures I am attaching are from a butterfly called Rosie. Bethany found this wounded butterfly on the ground, couldn't fly no more cause her wings were broken; nevertheless, Bethany picked it up and brought it home. We cut a grape for her and place flowers. She did stick her pick in and out of the grape to eat (that alone was a beautiful view), then she started trying to fly while standing on our hands, hair, fingers, etc. She finally died few days later; but, she left us with good memories. She shared with us her beauty, and during her short life brought a smile to our face and shown us the wonders of God's creation.

ps: I will be participating in a prayer-walk fund raiser that will benefit the medical mission of In Deed and Truth Ministry (Tonj, Africa). If is in your heart to help them, sponsor me writing a check to them: In Deed and Truth Ministry . All donations are tax deductible.

You can mail your gift to Indeed to:

P.O. Box 273
Lynn Haven, FL 32444

Please check their website for more information and to find out all the wonderful things they are doing for the people of Tonj, Africa.

Their website: www.indeedandtruth.org

Love you all!
ps: Don't pay attention to the date on the pic... I had not have the chance to change the date on my camera (lol)

Thursday...

"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another" John 1:16

He is the King of kings and Lord of lords, we are so bless when out of His mercy He grants us what we need, not exactly what we want, but what we need.
He is the great provider, friend (in the Bible He refer to us as friends!).
My car started to play games w me, so took the boy to a garage... = sick... the poor thing was leaking oil, but to repair that was out of my hands...however I prayed, and God provided a way to get it fix...Thank you Jesus!
I don't deserve anything, but when I am in need He is always there..."from the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another"...
I thanks Jesus for all His mercy and blessings received (friends, family, provision, etc). He knows my needs and your needs too!
With Love in Christ,
Sofia
ps: here a pic of my and my good friend Jenny that came all the way from Virginia to see me and take care of me =)

What is going on...

"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He pulled me out of deep waters" Psalm 18:16

Updates:

My sister is getting married in a month
My mom's visa has been denied, but there is still one more possibility, help me keep praying about it, the situation is in the Lord's hands, He knows better if is good or not good for her to come and visit.
6th and last cycle is around the corner (October 6th)
Tests and check ups will be taking place in Dec or Jan since chemo keeps working in your body for few months after the last dose.

Yesterday I was not feeling the best, the feeling of being not worth it was hunting me; a feeling of distress and self pity surrounded me (specially when I try to make plans spending time with my Bethany, but I have no enough strength), but how good it is that God is always watching us, and knows our hearts, even when we don't ask, He already knows our needs. Then all of the sudden I saw a friend at the public store, after greeting her she said a couple of things (without knowing my thoughts) that really lifted me up and made me feel loved by God, and useful, even my condition.

Believing in Him has been a blessing; knowing Him has been the best thing that has happened in my life.

The Bible says that even the demons believe and tremble... but, to know Him is different from just believing...as Beth Moore says, I just don't believe in Him, He is someone I know. I've felt His presence, I've seen his activity, I've experience His deliverance, I've been touch by His healing, I've witnessed answer prayers...yes I believe, but more than that, I know Him.

How did I get to know Him? Opening my heart to Him, asking Him to come into my life and direct my life from that point on, asking Him for forgiveness (that by grace He granted to all that believe and professes His name as the only way, the truth and the light), asking Him to be my friend and be my Father, to live in my heart forever and ever.

Thanks for your prayers =)

Only one cycle left!!!!

"...I do not look with disdain upon my weaknesses. I use them as an opportunity for God to display His powerful strength". 2nd Corinthians 12:10

I believe the weaknesses could be physical or spiritual or both. with tribulation we defend ourselves with the strength of Jesus, go through the storm, we are able to learn to have faith and to depend humbly in God's plans for our life.
Before I got sick, I thought I knew what faith was, and that I have lots of it...when the tribulation approached my doors I realized that stressing out, being anxious was lack of faith...I was not trusting God, just kept feeling pity for my self and asking God "Why me Lord"...now I look back and I can see part of his magnificent plan, through this storm He haves shaped me with a lot of love, and has given me the honor to share about Him with others.
One of the first things that come to my mind is when I woke up after my first brain surgery and being able to move my right arm, move my face on the right side, after my first check exam my neurosurgeon got in tears (he knew my beliefs cause I even pray for him) he said it was a miracle that I had complete control on the right side of my body cause during surgery they damaged me when taking the cancer tumor... next thing I know there is a bunch of doctors coming to see me, I was the miracle patient on the 7th floor... His power is shown in our weaknesses.
Today I got my 5th chemo, only one more to go!!!!! I am so exited!
The not too good news is that I believe cracked a tooth when eating peanuts, I had a lot of pain and took some pain medicine, but please help me pray that the dentist will be allowed to treat me and that it will be minor...honestly, although I am on the dental field, I am still afraid of dentist.
Also help me keep praying for my mom's visa so she can visit me.
Love you all,
Gods many blessings be upon you

Almost Done

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace" Romans 15:13

I've been reading chapter 6 and 7 of Romans last night; and it is comforting to know that even Paul (specifically chosen to spread the word of Jesus), he failed many times, but the Lord picked him up...during those verses you read about his fight against his flesh and doing what he is not to do and not doing what he is to... and that is so familiar...but the Lord never left his side.
In a way this is encouraging to me, through this disease I don't count the many blessings I received from God every time... I have times that I only complain and lack trust in our Jesus, I have feelings of insecurity (feelings that absolutely not come from my Father God), the more insecure I feel, the more likely I am to fail and sin.
The good news is that even that is the case Jesus does not leave me or forsake me, He is always there for me, to help me reason and repent.
Cycle 4 is done! I had to receive a transfusion this time, but I am ok now, and thank you Lord for the person that donated the blood.
I have 2 more cycles to go, October 6th should be the last one (God allowing)... I am so excited!!!
My mom wants to come visit me, but it all depends if she is able to get a U.S. visa, please help me pray that the visa is given to her so that I can see her again.
With love in Christ,
Sofia

"I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me" Galatians 2:20

I can't stop praising God, blows my mind how good He is to us, a love that is difficult to understand, but how good to accept and live under.
Next Tuesday I start cycle 4, time is flying, soon all this will be over. I am living day by day as the Lord wants me to, not worried about tomorrow cause tomorrow's is His.
I am learning to follow His path and (not mine anymore) with the confidence that He guides me to what He knows is good for me, because He loves me.

Resting Period

"We know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere" Romans 5:5

No matter how many times we make a mistake He is always there... His arms around us (in my case I feel his love through the love of my sisters and brothers in Christ) my biological family may be far away, but my spiritual family is here, close to me.
Cycle #3 is done! now I am on a period of resting until July26... I am so happy... I felt very sick all the way until today, so here I am writing since I feel better.
I have developed something called neuropathy that hopefully is gonna go away when I finish chemo... my hands shake like the hands of an old lady, i have no strength on my fingers (cant even open a bottle of water) forget about me doing something that takes precision, i am walking like a duck, don't feel my toes and my legs feel as heavy as they could be, I have lost a lot of weight, etc... but, you know why I am thank you to the Lord? because, I may have trouble with my fingers, but I do have hands, I may have trouble walking, but I have legs and I walk (although in a funny way), I may have trouble with my vision, but I see the glory of God's creation, and best of all I am learning compassion.
Have a wonderful week =)

Burning House

"God... is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters" 1st timothy 6:15

It is so true that "church" is not a building, we are the church... we all make a unique contribution that forms a body, we are part of the body of Christ. We have been designed in a magnificent way, with our virtues and failures... we are unique.
Many times we look so hard for fulfillment in another human, what a big mistake and as my big brother Rob said... it is unfair to expect another human to fill the emptiness in our heart, Jesus is the only one that can occupy that empty space in our hearts, that thirst, that longing.
Deep inside us we are all children. girls we dream about a prince that will come, take our heart and tell us he will love us forever, that will be there for us and watch over us forever (as the song goes) as well... however the only one that can watch over us and love us unconditionally forever is God.
Pain and suffering... although many things I am going through (and I've been)are difficult and I am making it only with God's strength, I have come to the realization that not until now I can share and understand pain and suffering in others. For a long time I shared sympathy for others going through difficulties and pain, but now I can share and understand them (there is a difference)... I asked myself many times God why are you allowing this happening to me?... now I say "thank you Lord for teaching me", sometimes the learning process can be painful... specially if you are a perfectionist and hard headed like me (lol)
Tomorrow will be the last chemo of cycle please pray for healing.
Love you all!

Chemo round 3, here I come...

"My mouth is full of praise and honor to you all day long" Psalm 71:8

Sometimes life can play tricks on us, one day we have everything and next one we lose all. However, there is peace in those things, knowing that God is in control and either He is protecting us from something or trying to teach us... Like the song says "You give and take away, my heart will chose to say Lord blessed be your name".

When things go wrong I just have to think God is in control, He loves me, He wants the best for me, and my anxiety and troubled heart becomes at peace.

Chemo round 3 starts on Tuesday, this time I am better prepared for the side effects. I am having trouble with the side effects of radiation even though was long time ago, but now they are popping out.
the doc says they may go away or they may stay forever... I pray they will go away, but if not is good with me, the Lord is my strength, my provider, I will be just fine.

Always praise his glorious name!

Cycle 2 done!

"God ...is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters"

Isn't this verse wonderful. I am so thankful that I do not have the last word, but He does. When things don't go my way or go wrong (or at least I think they are wrong) I get mad, anxious sometimes and I fight to get things the way I think they should be, I became stress and anxious... I am learning that it is a waist on my health and mind. God is in control always, from the small to big stuff, so why to stress out or be anxious about things? God will open or close the door either way, whatever He knows is good for me.
I just finished cycle 2 of chemo, I am excited about it, 2 weeks of rest and cycle 3 waiting for me. I am experiencing a lot of the radiation side effects, but I am praying they will go away as it happened in the past.
My mom's visit to the States is still unknown. She has applied for her u.s. visa, but the consul did not grant her the visa, he wants more records and information from the times visited the states. But, God is the bless controller, if is his will for my mom to come and visit me, there will be no consul, no officer that will be in between, the visa will be granted either way, if is His will.
Please keep me and my mom in prayer, I feel in the middle of a battlefield (still have 4 more cycles to go), but the peace that I have knowing my father is in control and always want the best for me... what an almighty God we serve
Bless you all, love
Sofia

Chemo Round 2, here I go...

"But He said to them, "Why are you so fearful, you of little faith?" Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea. And there was a great calm." Matthew 8:26

This verse make me feel better, God so knows my little faith, but I will not be the first human with this problem... the apostles saw miracles done in front of them, they walked side to side with the Messiah and even though in times of trouble their faith was shaken... many prophets at moments lost faith too and even to the point of hiding in caves and wanting to die (thank you Rhonda) it is our human nature, we are weak and here comes the importance of keeping communion with God, his word, and staying close to Him. If is not because through his word I have a constant reminder that He is the bless controller, that time is in His hands and happenings are under His control... I am telling you I will be a complete mess, no faith, no hope, nothing... In my human nature I tend to become depress, and look at the negative side of things, look at the bad and not the good... God has bless me in huge ways, my treasure is not material, but it is spiritual. God is blessing me with wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, with spiritual sisters that are providing a home for me, a cancer treatment that is incredible expensive, but God made it possible for me. I have a plate of food on my table by his grace, a daughter that is full of energy, but loves me and is healthy and loves God... what else can I ask for?
The days of my life are counted by Him. He already knows when will be my time to go home with him, and that gives me so much peace, I don't have to worry about my health or what I need to say to doctors and what doctors to have etc... My Jesus is in control for me and He has it all planned... If more life to bring glory to His name and guide my little one in his path... if not more life, then Bethany is His, He will make sure she is ok, He will watch over her, and my family. I will be out of pain, no more tears no more sorrows, I will be next to my savior.
What is next? Wednesday morning I am suppose to be admitted at Sacred Heart to receive this Chemo that is new for me ... is called Cytoxin, and I have to stay over night, then on Friday I have to receive this shot called Neulasta to help my bone marrow create more cells, since this drug is known to wipe the white blood cells, meaning I will have no body defenses for a little bit.
Then the following week, on Tuesday another chemo, and the following tuesday from then another chemo... that will be the end of chemo round 2
What? How many rounds are there? I have 6 cycles total... so my guess is that if everything goes well and as scheduled, then I will be done with chemo sometime in November or December.
seems a long way for me, but I bet for God is just a blink of an eye, He is with me and that brings peace in my heart, His peace that surpasses all understanding. He carries me in His arms when I cannot walk no more, what a wonderful God we have, his mercy and love for us is never ending.
Prayers I need is for this new Chemo that I will receive on Wednesday
For Bethany that needs and misses mom, but I am not with her, but on weekends
For my mom that may come to visit me for a few weeks, but that she can get her visa
For my friend Joy, her sister was fighting with cancer (Sheila) and she passed away recently. Joy is very depress, please keep her in prayer.
Love you bunches!

"The heavens declare you are God, and the mountains rejoice..."

Our wonderful father, He will never leave us, never forsake us.
I am in "resting time" from chemo, and although I don't feel to good at times, there is always something that cheers my spirit up...going for a walk... what a difference it makes to see the beautiful open ski (sunshine or no sunshine), The beautiful nature He has created for us, to hear the birds singing, the wind blowing making beautiful music when touching the leaves of a tree...There is some kind of healing that comes from His creation of nature, how beautiful, what a delight to us... but by far, the most beautiful of his creation is us.
Not too many weeks ago Bethany spent the weekend with me, we went for a walk and found this beautiful green landscape, she started to run around and finally she laid face up looking at the ski, I laid next to her and we saw these beautiful birds flying crossing the ski... she got up and kept running and stood in front of the Bay, all I could see was her back, she was enjoying watching the sun going down, and I was enjoying watching her.
I have finished cycle 1 of my chemo treatment. May 10th I will receive my new schedule for cycle 2.
This cycle has been hard on me, I did not expect it, but a lot of pain and side effects I had to face. I am in the middle of the battle, but I know my father has not forsake me, He has put angels all around me... when in crisis my good sisters in Christ run to help me (Thank you Rhonda and Lisa for running to my rescue =)
Theresa and Kathy, besides providing a home for me, they provide human love, words of encouragement, fun and remind me the word of God in every situation.
Pansy, Cathy, Donna, Liz....wow, I did not realize I had so many sisters that surround me like angels, praying for me and ready to the rescue when needed... This is what is call the body of Christ, when a part is hurting (I believe my self like a fingernail) all the other parts of the body run to the rescue bringing a band aid, antibiotic creme, etc. I can see and feel the love of God through the hands and love all my sisters and brothers in Christ are giving to me. Thank you Jesus for all of them, thank you that although I am passing through a dark valley you show me every moment that I am not alone, that although I am insignificant, you love me and you have not forsake me.

In the middle of the battle

"under your wings I feel comfort,
under you wings I feel safe,
Jesus never let me go.....

Here I am keeping the fight, Cycle one of Chemo is over and we should start cycle 2 after May 10th.
I was about quit this chemo, is so strong on my body, so many side effects, emotional effects and physical, but when I talked to the doctor he said...Sofia I am treating you like treating a family member, you can not quit, the type of cancer you had recurs, so there is no option, you gotta finish your chemo.
After a lot of prayer and asking for the advice of friends the answer came back very clear to me.... I can't quit..God opened all the doors for me to do the chemo, gave me a christian doctor, etc.
But I still need your prayers very much, I am living not on my strength, my strength comes from Jesus, I have no more energy, force to keep fighting, He is literally carrying me now and fighting for me. What a good God we serve... when we are weak, He is our tower of strength and no matter how good or bad we are, He still love us and keeps fighting for us.
Happy Eastern! Happy Resurrection Day!

In a Lot of Pain

I wish I could have good news, but the truth is that I am in a lot of pain, my stomach taking the load (stomachache) no ceasing for 4 days...
I just wanted to share this song with you, I have translated it the best I could, but this song really talked to me and I know will talk to you...

"It has been a long and exhausting trip, but I am finally here...
The light came to my eyes, but I doubted either way...
I passed through many valleys of insecurity, through many days of doubt,
But I am finally here, and I understand...

That for this time I was created, for this time I was born
For his eternal marvelous purposes he made me
For this time I was born, although it costs me to believe

I've never imagined being a part of His eternal purpose and plans, but here I am
And God has a purpose for your life too."

This is a song by Marcela Gandara

Love you, please keep me in prayer that I will go through this valley of pain...

1st Chemo Cycle

The Lord is my rock and my fortress, my deliverer; Psalm

It feels like a long time since I wrote a few lines last time.
An update on what is going on with me. This week has been difficult for me. I started chemo on Tuesday (last tuesday) and completed with 3 oral pills (part of the chemo) on Friday. I never thought chemo will be so strong in our bodies, I've been in pain all day Saturday, could not sleep cause of the pain on Sat night and on Sunday finally some relieve with a pain medication the doc gave me (the downside is that the med is really good for pain, but makes me feel like a zombie, makes me extremely sleepy and affects me in other way that is worst than the ones I just listed).
Today I did not take pain medicine cause of the side effects, my body is feeling better, but I have had fight a stomachache all day long and I am continuing to do so.
This kind of pain is completely different from the spinal taps, radiation, suture on my head scalp without anesthesia, etc... this pain is a dull, inside, constant pain all around the body (best way I could describe).
Today I almost take the decision of no more chemo for me... just when I said that my mom called me without knowing what was going on with me, and she said to me, ...hijita, this is gonna be difficult, but the Lord is your strength, don't give up, God has open all doors for your treatment, you have passed the worst and the Lord is walking you to finish the race...
She and another sister yesterday encouraged me to keep with this which is no fun and I feel I don't wanna do it no more, but I guess I have to.
Sorry I am not very positive and inspiring today, I ask for your prayers, I need them more than ever.

Clinging to Jesus

"Who stood up for me against the wicked? Who took my side against evil workers? If God hadn't been there for me, I never would have made it.
The minute I said, "I am slipping, I am falling", your love, God, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up".

I know, it's been a while since the last time I wrote, being back in town, recuperating from the radiation, trying to keep with the body active with daily walks, etc, seeing my friends, going back to learn more from my Lord at church, paperwork to be done and send to help with my insurance, etc and during the weekends my sweet Bethany that brings joy every time she comes (but also full time mommy job =)
My good sister in Christ Theresa just got a book we are both reading to encourage each other to finish it, it is call "calm my anxious heart". First thing to point out in that book is the recipe for contentment... Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow is God's, not yours. Do not dwell in the past, you can't go back in time and fix what has been done or said. Do not covet for someone else lot, be content with the one you have....
I am guilty of doing the opposite of the listed above... Bethany, my 7 year old girl thought me a lesson the other day.... I picked my medications at the pharmacy and I started to complain about how many, how nasty some of them where, bla, bla, bla... so my Bethany said to me..."mommy, you should be thanking God, you at least have your medicines to make you better, there is other people can't have their medication?.... oh....how guilty I felt, she was absolutely right... yes, I am going through cancer, it is not fun, not at all... but I am very bless to have the medicines and treatment for it.
I have not started chemotherapy yet, it has been postponed for about 2 weeks, once I got a cold, and the 2nd time the oncologist in Shands order another spinal tab before starting chemo .... so although I was very upset about it (spinal taps can be terribly painful) I turned my complain for praises to God, that I am gonna have the spinal tap for the doctors to see better what or in what state I am and that this time God knowing how scare I was (crying like a baby) He even open the door to have the spinal tap with the "live x-rays" meaning they where not going to have to find the right place to put the needle in my back by touching my spine and guessing... this time it was done with live x rays, so the doctor new exactly where the opening was to get the spinal fluid.
Almost did not experience pain at all!! Praises to the Lord...
As you may know my Bethany turned 7 years old this past March 7th, she is growing so fast, I keep praying my dear Lord will bless me with long life to see her grow and guide her in the ways she should go... I want to be her mom as long as I can (like the song says)
I am attaching some pictures of Bethany's pictures from her b-day. I made her cake (that she loved) and Ray gave us her edible figure of Scooby Doo (her favorite cartoon). Ray also took us with Satya to Wonder Works, Bethany was so happy, and I was happy too, although exhausted.
Of course I have not forget the friends I made over in Gainesville at the Cancer Society Hope Lodge... they are still in my prayers and I can't tell you how many life lessons I learned from each one of them.
Paul said something like to be content with little as to be content when abundance... that is something we learn little by little and with the experiences in life.
May God rain you with his wonderful blessings!