"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful...No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me... apart from me you can do nothing." John 15: 1-2, 4, 5
I only have praises in my lips to my loving Father today, he is so awesome, so great. In his mercy and grace He has grant me life, every breath I take is by his grace only, every moment is a gift... like Madisa's song says... today the blue sky is bluer, the green grass is greener, the bright sun is brighter...
I had my MRI done at Shands Tuesday, saw the doctor and his feedback was... "Sofia, you do not need surgery. The mass still there, but probably as we suspected before, you had that mass since you were born, and you may have the mass for the rest of your life"... then, he gave the mass a fancy name... L'hermite Duclos, Hema Dysplacia...or something like that... he said that honestly he has no answers or reasons that explain why the mass had swollen on the first place, and how it shrunk after... the had no explanation for all the things that took me to the hospital 2 times and kept me for 5 days in a bed each time...
At this point the mass has no grow, change shape or texture, he assured me is not a tumor, not cancer, otherwise it would have shown changes already. He assured me and show me the MRI slides, the mass is not harmful, is not blocking any chambers, the fluid is good and flowing normally.
Whats next? he advices he keep following up with an MRI in 6 months, then if no changes another MRI in a year, then in 2 years, 3 and so on...
Is this doctor taking it too lightly? well, it is not just this doctor... there is a team of doctors that discuss my case, the head doctor is the one that talked to me...however, no matter how many degrees a doctor carries, they are just humans, they don't know everything, but my confidence is in the great physician "God".
It's been a 5 month journey for me... pain, fear, anger, confusion... my faith has been tested, and God has shown me many aspects of my heart that I was not aware of, I have learned a lot of things, especially to trust in Him completely. I still have so much more to learn, I am glad the Lord is not done with me yet =) But, my faith has become stronger, my self-confidence has been change to confidence in Him, the way I see life is much different now... I am living and enjoying my present much more instead of living in the past and working so hard for the future (that only God holds for me).
Today, I had another counseling session (maybe the last one). I am so bless I was referred to this counseling center (and my counselor in particular).
I'm not sure if the Lord is telling me something, but the counselor told me something a friend just told me a day ago... unconditional love... love people just as they are, don't expect them to react to a situation the way you will react, because everyone is different. Don't cut them off your life just because they did not respond to you the way you would have respond if you would have been in the same situation ...
we do not have the power to change people, we just have to accept them the way they are... that's to love unconditionally, no strings attached.
She told me "just like a butterfly, if you disrupt the natural process of the cocoon, the way it needs to mature before the butterfly comes out... if you blow on it, or try to get the butterfly out before time, then you end killing the butterfly... sometimes you just need to wait and watch it grow, mature, and love the process, love the imperfect cocoon, and wait.
Although I've been writing the blog to keep everyone updated about my health and doctors results... I may keep writing more, I have really enjoyed sharing with my good friends the "happenings" in my life, Bible verses, and more.
Love you all, thank you for all your prayers, I know God heard everyone of them.
God bless you,
Sofia
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
"No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it. See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess." Deut. 30: 14-16
When reading Daniel I started to think about the following verse: "At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, "Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?" Daniel answered, "O king, live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. they have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight." Daniel 6:19-22
Are we innocent/righteous in the sight of God? Of course we are! By the blood of Jesus we are, praises to Him for his sacrifice for us. I choose life, I love my Lord my God, I want to walk in his ways and keep his commands; but, I know I am not perfect and that I have failed in the past and that I am going to fall in the future, so I need Jesus, and I have the assurance that my Jesus will help me to get up every time, and that because of him I am white as snow, innocent in the eyes of my father God, so when trouble, suffering and trials (the lions) come my way... My God will send his angels to shut the mouths of the lions that want to destroy me.
There is a song by Nataly Grant "I will not be moved" based on 2nd Cor. 4:8 "I may stumble, I may fall down, I will face heartaches, but I will not be moved". On 2nd Cor 4:8 we read: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
Horeb a mountain of desolation but also hope. At Horeb Moses spent a lot of time during his 40 year exile (waiting and who knows maybe without hope in the future, but just to pasture sheeps). At Horeb is believed Elijah found himself in a cave and he wanted to die. But, at the same mountain, later on Moses met with God and Elijah overcame the spirit of Jezebel..if you have the time, read the stories (Exodus 3-4, 19-33/ 1Kings 19)... Many times we see ourselves in a place of desolation, a dessert that never ends, no way out, no hope... struggles with money, jobs, stability, relationships... in my case a place that I am waiting and waiting for healing. but, our present situation (our Horeb) whatever it is, needs to be put in the hands of God... so many things we can learn in this place: To: Wait and be patient, Trust God, Have not self-confidence, but confidence in God, and to allow God to shape us. See, difficult times exposes our hearts... what really is inside us, and reveal to us where our confidence and trust lies. Most of the times, we experience God during difficult times, we come closer to him, and learn a lot, we grow stronger.
I read about some men doing stonework for a church. One of them was chiseling a piece of stone, another man asked What are you doing with that? the worker said "see that little opening away up there near the spire? well, I'm shaping this down here, so it will fit in up there."
God will use our trial to shape us for our future, let's not waste the pain of difficult times, let's allow God to use those difficult times to transform us, to heal us; our God can turn/ bring good from bad, there is nothing impossible for him. Our Horeb can be a place of new beginnings.
God is the medicine for our suffering (spiritual or physical) Psalms 107:20 reads: "He sent forth his word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave."
There is a book I've been reading "Hope resurrected" by Dutch Sheets, if you have the chance get the book and read it; the book refers to several Bible verses that have inspired me and help me understand and accept the times at "Horeb". I wish I could re-type the book and share it with you =)
I am going to Gainesville this Monday coming... please keep praying with me for a miracle.
When reading Daniel I started to think about the following verse: "At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, "Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?" Daniel answered, "O king, live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. they have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight." Daniel 6:19-22
Are we innocent/righteous in the sight of God? Of course we are! By the blood of Jesus we are, praises to Him for his sacrifice for us. I choose life, I love my Lord my God, I want to walk in his ways and keep his commands; but, I know I am not perfect and that I have failed in the past and that I am going to fall in the future, so I need Jesus, and I have the assurance that my Jesus will help me to get up every time, and that because of him I am white as snow, innocent in the eyes of my father God, so when trouble, suffering and trials (the lions) come my way... My God will send his angels to shut the mouths of the lions that want to destroy me.
There is a song by Nataly Grant "I will not be moved" based on 2nd Cor. 4:8 "I may stumble, I may fall down, I will face heartaches, but I will not be moved". On 2nd Cor 4:8 we read: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
Horeb a mountain of desolation but also hope. At Horeb Moses spent a lot of time during his 40 year exile (waiting and who knows maybe without hope in the future, but just to pasture sheeps). At Horeb is believed Elijah found himself in a cave and he wanted to die. But, at the same mountain, later on Moses met with God and Elijah overcame the spirit of Jezebel..if you have the time, read the stories (Exodus 3-4, 19-33/ 1Kings 19)... Many times we see ourselves in a place of desolation, a dessert that never ends, no way out, no hope... struggles with money, jobs, stability, relationships... in my case a place that I am waiting and waiting for healing. but, our present situation (our Horeb) whatever it is, needs to be put in the hands of God... so many things we can learn in this place: To: Wait and be patient, Trust God, Have not self-confidence, but confidence in God, and to allow God to shape us. See, difficult times exposes our hearts... what really is inside us, and reveal to us where our confidence and trust lies. Most of the times, we experience God during difficult times, we come closer to him, and learn a lot, we grow stronger.
I read about some men doing stonework for a church. One of them was chiseling a piece of stone, another man asked What are you doing with that? the worker said "see that little opening away up there near the spire? well, I'm shaping this down here, so it will fit in up there."
God will use our trial to shape us for our future, let's not waste the pain of difficult times, let's allow God to use those difficult times to transform us, to heal us; our God can turn/ bring good from bad, there is nothing impossible for him. Our Horeb can be a place of new beginnings.
God is the medicine for our suffering (spiritual or physical) Psalms 107:20 reads: "He sent forth his word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave."
There is a book I've been reading "Hope resurrected" by Dutch Sheets, if you have the chance get the book and read it; the book refers to several Bible verses that have inspired me and help me understand and accept the times at "Horeb". I wish I could re-type the book and share it with you =)
I am going to Gainesville this Monday coming... please keep praying with me for a miracle.
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