"The heavens declare you are God, and the mountains rejoice..."

Our wonderful father, He will never leave us, never forsake us.
I am in "resting time" from chemo, and although I don't feel to good at times, there is always something that cheers my spirit up...going for a walk... what a difference it makes to see the beautiful open ski (sunshine or no sunshine), The beautiful nature He has created for us, to hear the birds singing, the wind blowing making beautiful music when touching the leaves of a tree...There is some kind of healing that comes from His creation of nature, how beautiful, what a delight to us... but by far, the most beautiful of his creation is us.
Not too many weeks ago Bethany spent the weekend with me, we went for a walk and found this beautiful green landscape, she started to run around and finally she laid face up looking at the ski, I laid next to her and we saw these beautiful birds flying crossing the ski... she got up and kept running and stood in front of the Bay, all I could see was her back, she was enjoying watching the sun going down, and I was enjoying watching her.
I have finished cycle 1 of my chemo treatment. May 10th I will receive my new schedule for cycle 2.
This cycle has been hard on me, I did not expect it, but a lot of pain and side effects I had to face. I am in the middle of the battle, but I know my father has not forsake me, He has put angels all around me... when in crisis my good sisters in Christ run to help me (Thank you Rhonda and Lisa for running to my rescue =)
Theresa and Kathy, besides providing a home for me, they provide human love, words of encouragement, fun and remind me the word of God in every situation.
Pansy, Cathy, Donna, Liz....wow, I did not realize I had so many sisters that surround me like angels, praying for me and ready to the rescue when needed... This is what is call the body of Christ, when a part is hurting (I believe my self like a fingernail) all the other parts of the body run to the rescue bringing a band aid, antibiotic creme, etc. I can see and feel the love of God through the hands and love all my sisters and brothers in Christ are giving to me. Thank you Jesus for all of them, thank you that although I am passing through a dark valley you show me every moment that I am not alone, that although I am insignificant, you love me and you have not forsake me.

In the middle of the battle

"under your wings I feel comfort,
under you wings I feel safe,
Jesus never let me go.....

Here I am keeping the fight, Cycle one of Chemo is over and we should start cycle 2 after May 10th.
I was about quit this chemo, is so strong on my body, so many side effects, emotional effects and physical, but when I talked to the doctor he said...Sofia I am treating you like treating a family member, you can not quit, the type of cancer you had recurs, so there is no option, you gotta finish your chemo.
After a lot of prayer and asking for the advice of friends the answer came back very clear to me.... I can't quit..God opened all the doors for me to do the chemo, gave me a christian doctor, etc.
But I still need your prayers very much, I am living not on my strength, my strength comes from Jesus, I have no more energy, force to keep fighting, He is literally carrying me now and fighting for me. What a good God we serve... when we are weak, He is our tower of strength and no matter how good or bad we are, He still love us and keeps fighting for us.
Happy Eastern! Happy Resurrection Day!

In a Lot of Pain

I wish I could have good news, but the truth is that I am in a lot of pain, my stomach taking the load (stomachache) no ceasing for 4 days...
I just wanted to share this song with you, I have translated it the best I could, but this song really talked to me and I know will talk to you...

"It has been a long and exhausting trip, but I am finally here...
The light came to my eyes, but I doubted either way...
I passed through many valleys of insecurity, through many days of doubt,
But I am finally here, and I understand...

That for this time I was created, for this time I was born
For his eternal marvelous purposes he made me
For this time I was born, although it costs me to believe

I've never imagined being a part of His eternal purpose and plans, but here I am
And God has a purpose for your life too."

This is a song by Marcela Gandara

Love you, please keep me in prayer that I will go through this valley of pain...

1st Chemo Cycle

The Lord is my rock and my fortress, my deliverer; Psalm

It feels like a long time since I wrote a few lines last time.
An update on what is going on with me. This week has been difficult for me. I started chemo on Tuesday (last tuesday) and completed with 3 oral pills (part of the chemo) on Friday. I never thought chemo will be so strong in our bodies, I've been in pain all day Saturday, could not sleep cause of the pain on Sat night and on Sunday finally some relieve with a pain medication the doc gave me (the downside is that the med is really good for pain, but makes me feel like a zombie, makes me extremely sleepy and affects me in other way that is worst than the ones I just listed).
Today I did not take pain medicine cause of the side effects, my body is feeling better, but I have had fight a stomachache all day long and I am continuing to do so.
This kind of pain is completely different from the spinal taps, radiation, suture on my head scalp without anesthesia, etc... this pain is a dull, inside, constant pain all around the body (best way I could describe).
Today I almost take the decision of no more chemo for me... just when I said that my mom called me without knowing what was going on with me, and she said to me, ...hijita, this is gonna be difficult, but the Lord is your strength, don't give up, God has open all doors for your treatment, you have passed the worst and the Lord is walking you to finish the race...
She and another sister yesterday encouraged me to keep with this which is no fun and I feel I don't wanna do it no more, but I guess I have to.
Sorry I am not very positive and inspiring today, I ask for your prayers, I need them more than ever.

Clinging to Jesus

"Who stood up for me against the wicked? Who took my side against evil workers? If God hadn't been there for me, I never would have made it.
The minute I said, "I am slipping, I am falling", your love, God, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up".

I know, it's been a while since the last time I wrote, being back in town, recuperating from the radiation, trying to keep with the body active with daily walks, etc, seeing my friends, going back to learn more from my Lord at church, paperwork to be done and send to help with my insurance, etc and during the weekends my sweet Bethany that brings joy every time she comes (but also full time mommy job =)
My good sister in Christ Theresa just got a book we are both reading to encourage each other to finish it, it is call "calm my anxious heart". First thing to point out in that book is the recipe for contentment... Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow is God's, not yours. Do not dwell in the past, you can't go back in time and fix what has been done or said. Do not covet for someone else lot, be content with the one you have....
I am guilty of doing the opposite of the listed above... Bethany, my 7 year old girl thought me a lesson the other day.... I picked my medications at the pharmacy and I started to complain about how many, how nasty some of them where, bla, bla, bla... so my Bethany said to me..."mommy, you should be thanking God, you at least have your medicines to make you better, there is other people can't have their medication?.... oh....how guilty I felt, she was absolutely right... yes, I am going through cancer, it is not fun, not at all... but I am very bless to have the medicines and treatment for it.
I have not started chemotherapy yet, it has been postponed for about 2 weeks, once I got a cold, and the 2nd time the oncologist in Shands order another spinal tab before starting chemo .... so although I was very upset about it (spinal taps can be terribly painful) I turned my complain for praises to God, that I am gonna have the spinal tap for the doctors to see better what or in what state I am and that this time God knowing how scare I was (crying like a baby) He even open the door to have the spinal tap with the "live x-rays" meaning they where not going to have to find the right place to put the needle in my back by touching my spine and guessing... this time it was done with live x rays, so the doctor new exactly where the opening was to get the spinal fluid.
Almost did not experience pain at all!! Praises to the Lord...
As you may know my Bethany turned 7 years old this past March 7th, she is growing so fast, I keep praying my dear Lord will bless me with long life to see her grow and guide her in the ways she should go... I want to be her mom as long as I can (like the song says)
I am attaching some pictures of Bethany's pictures from her b-day. I made her cake (that she loved) and Ray gave us her edible figure of Scooby Doo (her favorite cartoon). Ray also took us with Satya to Wonder Works, Bethany was so happy, and I was happy too, although exhausted.
Of course I have not forget the friends I made over in Gainesville at the Cancer Society Hope Lodge... they are still in my prayers and I can't tell you how many life lessons I learned from each one of them.
Paul said something like to be content with little as to be content when abundance... that is something we learn little by little and with the experiences in life.
May God rain you with his wonderful blessings!