"If you will hold on to me for dear life, "says God", "I will get you out of any trouble. I will give you the best of care if you will only get to know and trust me. Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; I will rescue you, then throw you a party. I will give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!" Psalm 14-16 (The Message)
And that is my prayer everyday... When I saw this Bible verse, it was like an answer...if I hold tight to him, if I ask to help me in times of trouble (financial, health, relationships), if I ask Him for more life (it is the desire of my heart to take care and be around Bethany for many more years, and enjoy of the best gift God has given me that is call "life") it is His promise that He will be with me in the times of trouble, that He will rescue me, that He will grant me a long life and a long drink of salvation... if I get to know and trust Him.
Trusting is my big problem and has always been. With my condition I am learning the hard way to trust God; honestly I thought I trusted Him, but not until this sickness (and all that comes along with it like losing the job, away from my daughter, losing the place I lived, etc) I learned and I am still learning to completely rely on Him and come to the realization that the only place that helps come from is Heaven, and that only by His grace and mercy is that I am alive, I have a roof over my head and food on my table and I can spend time with my daughter. God has been using (extending His loving arms to me) my family and extended family (family in Him) to provide for all my needs and every time I look around me and what He is doing in my life, I just get into tears of joy and praise Him... I do not deserve anything, however He is so loving and so merciful that He keeps watching over me, He does not forget or forsake me and keeps giving all the time... although I fail Him over and over I rest in His promise that He died for my past, present and future sins...He so know I am going to fail over and over again, He only wants me to hold His hand when I fall so that He can help me out to get up again and keep walking next to Him... What a loving God we have!
Good news... although no Docs take medicaid here in PC (yeah I thought I found the only one that takes medicaid here, but he doesn't take it anymore) a good brother in Christ from church helped me to find a good christian oncologist in Destin (about 30 minutes away from PC) that will take my case and takes medicaid... I believe is not coincidence, but is the Lord that wants this doc to be in charge of my chemo...
Honestly I don't want to go through chemo, but God has open the door for me to see the doctor (and I have not done anything, the docs from Shands are the ones to call me to say that they were faxing all my info to this doc office, etc..and the one that found this doctor for me and talk about my case was my brother in Christ Dale).
Staying at the American Cancer Society Lodge in Gainesville has inspired me so much to keep fighting for life. I met wonderful people that had a similar condition as me, the difference is that no matter how old, race or culture, we all had the same goal... stay here in earth and enjoy all that God has given us "life" no matter how many tears, trouble or bad times...life is a gift and very unique, special to all of us.
First picture is "Linda" 3 heart surgeries and other health problems; however there every day to help her husband going through cancerous tumors around his lungs, keep her and her husband Bill in prayer... they were known for always cooking and sharing with everyone, they adopted a little boy and Bill's prayer is to have a longer life to stay around his wife and boy.
Second Pic is my good friend Grace, she as well taking care of her husband that went through radiation and chemotherapy for his cancer, please keep her in prayer that she will stay strong to take care of her husband.
Third picture (a little bit dark, sorry) is Rose, 84 years old, all by herself since her daughter can not get off from work to be with her ... she has melanoma cancer all over her right leg... she was an inspiration to me, since being alone, 84 years old, taking the shuttle hospital bus to go and come back from treatment, but always giving thanks to God for every day of life and her faith not being shaken.
Forth pic my friend "Alma" bone marrow leukemia transfer, keep her in prayer for a full recovery, that she has a long life to enjoy with her husband, daughter and grand kids (that I had the pleasure to meet)
Fifth pic ... her name is Pat and I ask for a special prayer for her... She has pancreatic cancer and just before I left there was a weird reaction not seen with radiation before... she lost the motor skills of her right arm and leg, and her left hand was giving her trouble by getting numb... when I left docs where running MRIs and trying to find out what was wrong with her... Very nice lady, fighting hard for life.
Sixth and last picture... as I said before, we have shared good and sad times with the friends I made at the cancer lodge... in the pic we are celebrating Sheila's birthday (kidney and bladder cancer), she was really touch by her birthday cake and being able to blow one more candle and us singing the birthday song for her...keep her in prayer as well and be grateful and bless by this day of life God is granting you = )
All of you be bless and have a wonderful day!
PS: although the pictures have a 2007 date at the bottom... it is because the date on my camera was not set (lol) they were taken in January 2011
