"Hear my prayer, Oh Lord, and give ear into my cry; hold not your peace at my tears: for I am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were.
o spare me, that I may recover strength, before I go hence, and be no more." Psalms 39: 12-13
Decision time for me... today I was told the oncology expertise doc (in medulla blastomas that are pediatric cancer tumors and although rare is what they removed from my head) that chemotherapy is highly recommended and is up to me, but studies show that with radiation only I have a 50/50% chance, if I do the chemo is a 75% chance that I will not relapse... but, If I don't do chemo now, and I do relapse, then even doing radiation and chemo at the same time the chances are basically 0.0% of getting back to health cancer free...
What should I do? I have not take a decision yet, I have heard so many bad reactions, and poisoning your body, etc, that I don't know if going for chemo will be the right choice... I think about Bethany and the good time we can have together with me healthy vs. a time with Bethany, but being sick all the time and her not able to enjoy mom as she should, because mom is going through chemo, and the Lord may take me home after that...
Now, one way or the other I know the Lord has a purpose and a lifetime for me... either 50 more years, or 1 or months, only He knows the days of my life and He has them already even planned (thank you Lord), but I need to pray, I need you to please pray and I need time to hear Him and understand what He wants me to do...
In the mean time, the docs from here Shands are trying to get me an oncologist in PC, Pensacola or Tallahassee, so I am close just in case of reactions to the chemo.
Today was my last radiation, thank you Jesus! that means I may be home this Saturday coming... can't wait...
Ok. had a full day of appointments, I am heading to bed, but please pray for me and pray for my decision, the bible says to always listen to the elders of the church and leaders of the church, so please pray and tell me what you think...
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Dear Sophia, I am glad that you will be able to go back to Panama City soon. I am sure everyone will there will miss you because you are such a good person. You have a difficult decision but you are young and many years left to live with your beautiful daughter and you have a strong will and faith! You will make the right decision. I will keep you in my prayers, always!
ReplyDeleteMiss you and love you, your friend, Brenda