"I will tell of the Lord's unfailing love, I will praise the Lord for all he has done." Isaiah 63:7
Another amazing day! Today I had my first "healing" counseling session... see, all the counseling sessions before were focused on Bethany and how to prepare her, prepare grandma and dad for what's to come... but, this time the counselor said... "Sofia, this counseling is for you... we need to work on you now... so, I listened... I don't know if I wrote this before to you guys, but my flesh is weak, and I've been praying a lot about mold and spiderwebs I have in my heart, resentment that I keep in my heart, anger that I don't know how to get rid of ... and all those things that are poison for the soul... God has been showing me all these things I have to work on... and today's session was an answer to that prayer!
The counselor made a point... when you have anger, resentment in your heart towards someone is like you are holding a pen in your hand... you keep looking at it and the more you look at it, the more you hold on to it... if you need to get rid of that anger and resentment, first you need to understand that when you forgive, you don't always forget, you are a human, you'll remember, but if you forgive you will release your self, you will be set free... so, first, you have to think... what good brings to keep holding that pen in your hand? (obviously, nothing)... now, to put that pen away, what do you think you need to do?... "My answer was, tell the truth, tell that person that hurt me, the reasons I felt betrayed, hurt, ignored, etc... but is hard for me, because if I say point blank all these things then I will hurt that persons feelings and everything will go down the hill and instead of peace more problems will arise.... Then, the counselor asked me... "Sofia, why do you want that person to know all these things?... my answer was... because, that person thinks I hurt him by actions and things I took in life... that I had no right to do what I have done... Then, the counselor said... "Sofia, listen to yourself... Do you have the right or the control over other people's point of view or reasoning or choices in life? ... I said "NO".... Do you think that by this time telling this person all your reasoning, things that hurt you, etc will change the mind of that person about your "wrong or not right of decisions in life or on that specific matter?... I said "no, of course not".... this person has the right and the choice to think and believe what it wants, you have to set free yourself and not try to control or direct people's point of view, choices of how they see things... that is something they choose to do, and whatever they say or point of view is you have to respect and don't feel bad of feel you have to defend yourself...
Now, I ask you again Sofia... will it do any good to bring all those things out again and talk to that person about? Do you think that person will understand?....
Healing started to happen in my heart friends... release of anger, resentment, peace started to flow in my heart... forgiveness started to happen... felt like medicine being poured right on the top and inside my heart, what a feeling, how released, what a peace...
Sometimes we make choices in life that hurt others, and hurt ourselves in the middle, but God knows our hearts, know our motives, know our heartaches, and He understands... sometimes although He has forgiven us, it is difficult for us to forgive ourselves... and that is really wrong, if God forgive us, how come we can not forgive ourselves... and many times if we do not forgive ourselves, we can not forgive others... and we are not set free... a lesson I learned, God has forgiven you Sofia, forgive yourself, forgive others and go on in life... free...
Locks of Love... I knew I had to cut my hair, so went pick up Bethany early from school and went to see my good friend Kathy Cravatta, as I told you before the plan was to cut my hair and donate it to Locks of love... So, at the beauty salon, Kathy braid a small part of my hair and allowed Bethany cut it, we put it in a small zip log bag with a letter I wrote to hair saying the reason why mommy is doing this as a keepsake for Bethany. Then, we cut the hair and got an 11 inch braid!, then Kathy gave me a beautiful haircut (Thank you friend, you always do an awesome job with my hair). Bethany looked at me and said... mommy, your hair is beautiful and that little girl without hair is going to look beautiful with your hair, and also you look beautiful too with your short hair now, you are beautiful mommy.... I am so blessed with my little sweet girl, she is so wonderful, smart and understanding! and she loves sharing... Thank you God. I am still new at this, so I'll try to post a pic of Bethany cutting my braid... I'll try.... thank you for reading my long story! Love you all!
Another amazing day! Today I had my first "healing" counseling session... see, all the counseling sessions before were focused on Bethany and how to prepare her, prepare grandma and dad for what's to come... but, this time the counselor said... "Sofia, this counseling is for you... we need to work on you now... so, I listened... I don't know if I wrote this before to you guys, but my flesh is weak, and I've been praying a lot about mold and spiderwebs I have in my heart, resentment that I keep in my heart, anger that I don't know how to get rid of ... and all those things that are poison for the soul... God has been showing me all these things I have to work on... and today's session was an answer to that prayer!
The counselor made a point... when you have anger, resentment in your heart towards someone is like you are holding a pen in your hand... you keep looking at it and the more you look at it, the more you hold on to it... if you need to get rid of that anger and resentment, first you need to understand that when you forgive, you don't always forget, you are a human, you'll remember, but if you forgive you will release your self, you will be set free... so, first, you have to think... what good brings to keep holding that pen in your hand? (obviously, nothing)... now, to put that pen away, what do you think you need to do?... "My answer was, tell the truth, tell that person that hurt me, the reasons I felt betrayed, hurt, ignored, etc... but is hard for me, because if I say point blank all these things then I will hurt that persons feelings and everything will go down the hill and instead of peace more problems will arise.... Then, the counselor asked me... "Sofia, why do you want that person to know all these things?... my answer was... because, that person thinks I hurt him by actions and things I took in life... that I had no right to do what I have done... Then, the counselor said... "Sofia, listen to yourself... Do you have the right or the control over other people's point of view or reasoning or choices in life? ... I said "NO".... Do you think that by this time telling this person all your reasoning, things that hurt you, etc will change the mind of that person about your "wrong or not right of decisions in life or on that specific matter?... I said "no, of course not".... this person has the right and the choice to think and believe what it wants, you have to set free yourself and not try to control or direct people's point of view, choices of how they see things... that is something they choose to do, and whatever they say or point of view is you have to respect and don't feel bad of feel you have to defend yourself...
Now, I ask you again Sofia... will it do any good to bring all those things out again and talk to that person about? Do you think that person will understand?....
Healing started to happen in my heart friends... release of anger, resentment, peace started to flow in my heart... forgiveness started to happen... felt like medicine being poured right on the top and inside my heart, what a feeling, how released, what a peace...
Sometimes we make choices in life that hurt others, and hurt ourselves in the middle, but God knows our hearts, know our motives, know our heartaches, and He understands... sometimes although He has forgiven us, it is difficult for us to forgive ourselves... and that is really wrong, if God forgive us, how come we can not forgive ourselves... and many times if we do not forgive ourselves, we can not forgive others... and we are not set free... a lesson I learned, God has forgiven you Sofia, forgive yourself, forgive others and go on in life... free...
Locks of Love... I knew I had to cut my hair, so went pick up Bethany early from school and went to see my good friend Kathy Cravatta, as I told you before the plan was to cut my hair and donate it to Locks of love... So, at the beauty salon, Kathy braid a small part of my hair and allowed Bethany cut it, we put it in a small zip log bag with a letter I wrote to hair saying the reason why mommy is doing this as a keepsake for Bethany. Then, we cut the hair and got an 11 inch braid!, then Kathy gave me a beautiful haircut (Thank you friend, you always do an awesome job with my hair). Bethany looked at me and said... mommy, your hair is beautiful and that little girl without hair is going to look beautiful with your hair, and also you look beautiful too with your short hair now, you are beautiful mommy.... I am so blessed with my little sweet girl, she is so wonderful, smart and understanding! and she loves sharing... Thank you God. I am still new at this, so I'll try to post a pic of Bethany cutting my braid... I'll try.... thank you for reading my long story! Love you all!
Thank you.
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